F**k The Joneses
You can check out any time you like.
I was born in India in the late 80’s. The economic reforms happened while I was still a toddler. So while I have some hazy memories of Doordarshan and trunk calls, my childhood was largely one of access and privilege. I remember the wonderment of cable TV, and of seeing Toyotas and Nikes in the real world, not just on screen.
Right around the time we reached high school, the September 11 attacks happened. The world of our childhood, of ashtrays on planes and greeting people at the arrival gate (like in Friends) was gone forever.
As my generation got close to graduating, the Global Financial Crisis hit in 2008. Regardless, we joined the workforce, although perhaps with a larger than usual handicap. My peers and I are now in our mid-30’s. Those who chose a corporate career are solidly in middle management. A big chunk is self-employed too. Either way, as a whole, we are finally at a point where we have financial stability for the first time in our lives.
Yes, layoffs still happen. EMI’s are always right around the corner. Business ventures go through ups and downs. But there’s also something new- disposable income. A phenomenon that most of us got to experience only in our 30’s. (Barring the cryptobros and startup whizkids).
Disposable income is such a liberating thing. We finally get to have hobbies and passions. To travel, and learn about food and culture and movies. Some of us live vicariously through our kids, signing them up for all the classes and activities we never got to indulge in. (Whether the kids are interested or not is a topic for another post). It’s exhilarating to witness a friend go deep into watch culture, talking for hours about spring balances and in-house movements.
Or to see someone with a not—insignificant number of greys in their hair cackle with delight when they drive an RC car or fly their drone. Or the love and care with which a sneakerhead will preserve and wear their Air Jordans.
This is truly awesome.
There is, however, a flip side. To some extent, all of us are guilty of signalling our new found wealth. Maybe one watch geek bought that Grand Seiko SBGA211G after hundreds of hours of research. But for the rest of us, it became a way of judging our peers. Of building that tribal hierarchy in our head, placing people higher or lower than us. For this reason alone, trusty Timexes gave way to Tissots, Rados, maybe even Longines and Omegas!1
The problem is when you’re buying for the image. I see friends drive ginormous SUV’s when a little hatchback would’ve served them much better. They’d certainly be less angry drivers, for one. It’s the same with homes, or schools, or vacations, or clothes2. There’s the constant pressure to fly full service, if not business class. To stay in posh hotels. To party in the fanciest places.
There’s a term for this- Lifestyle Creep. It’s insidious because it doesn’t happen all at once. It’s marginal, and the incremental cost is usually miniscule. This is the Diderot effect:
The effect was first described in Diderot's essay of 1769 "Regrets on Parting with My Old Dressing Gown". In this essay Diderot tells how the gift of a beautiful scarlet dressing gown leads to unexpected results, eventually plunging him into debt.
Initially pleased with the gift, Diderot came to rue his new garment. Compared to his elegant new dressing gown, the rest of his possessions began to seem tawdry and he became dissatisfied that they did not live up to the elegance and style of his new possession.
He replaced his old straw chair, for example, with an armchair covered in Moroccan leather; his old desk was replaced with an expensive new writing table; his formerly beloved prints were replaced with more costly prints, and so on. "I was absolute master of my old dressing gown", Diderot writes, "but I have become a slave to my new one ... Beware of the contamination of sudden wealth. The poor man may take his ease without thinking of appearances, but the rich man is always under a strain".
Beware, then, of getting on this treadmill. Your lifestyle might consume you and your finances before you know it.
I’ll leave you with an elevated discussion from the delightfully named r/NYCbitcheswithtaste. The OP asked, “BWT! How are we avoiding lifestyle creep in NYC / the pressure to keep up with everyone else?”:
My favourite comment:
And this one:
Preach! Now go find your people.
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To be clear, I’m not gatekeeping watch collecting. It’s a weird, lovely community and I’m proud to be a member. There’s no minimum level of knowledge one needs to appreciate a watch. “It’s pretty” is just as valid as “It has a 3861 movement”, if not more.
Or the unholy trifecta of kids wearing full price garments from Zara and GAP.
I've seen this happen - albeit to a slightly lower level - with my friends in their early to mid 20s too. Keeping up with and showing off to your peers, and wanting to look like you "belong" is a real thing. People compare notes at hangouts, mention their latest international friends trip, or the latest iPhone they bought, or the cool 25k they just dropped on Coldplay tickets because it's a "once in a lifetime experience". It's easy to get lost in it if you aren't mindful.
Yes, everyone is on their first - or second - jobs, or starting up, and there's disposable income, but it's also easy to forget that a lot of people have the cushion and comfort of generational wealth to fall back upon.
I think a lot about this - and then I finally conclude that who am I to believe I am better or more virtuous if I try for minimalist lifestyle - a lot of judging goes into the whole process - we judge people wearing all the plush stuff, car, homes and believe it’s all ridiculous - they don’t realise the true meaning of life blah blah - I don’t know. It’s very circular and makes me very disgruntled often - that’s when I tell myself - to each their own.