Sultans of Swing
Mixed Doubles was a 2006 comedy directed by Rajat Kapoor and starring Ranvir Shorey, Konkona Sen Sharma, Koel Purie and Kapoor himself. Fun fact: it was co-written by Anurag Kashyap! The plot centres around an urban middle-class couple who’ve been married ten years. Ennui has set in, and Shorey’s character suggests they try opening up their marriage, and having a sexual encounter with another couple. AKA swinging.
In a pivotal scene, Shorey turns up at a stranger’s workplace in response to a shady personal ad on the back of a questionable magazine. Much hilarity ensues as the language of a grand alliance and the intent of a wife-swap intersect.
The indie film was pathbreaking, tackling a taboo subject with reasonable grace. The public consciousness was still recovering from the Abbas-Mustan abomination that was Ajnabee (2001). Yup, the one that gave us this meme:
In Ajnabee, the scene where Kumar’s character suggests a swap is revealing. Bobby Deol is a proxy for us, the audience. He is titillated, tempted and, after he’s sobered up, revolted. Accurate, for how alternate sexuality works in India.
By the late 2000’s, back-of-magazine swinger ads had moved online, to places like Locanto. Locanto is a local classifieds board, with categories like pets, vehicle, real estate, and notably, personals. Predictably, the lines blurred and the personals section soon tipped over into becoming a solicitation hub, which it remains even today, at least in India.
In the 2010’s, with increasing urbanization, a large number of young people were living away from home for the first time. Along with the mass adoption of the internet, Indian sexual mores started evolving. Tinder launched in 2013, and hook-ups and one-night stands entered the Indian vocabulary.
The new Indian was promiscuous and open-minded. But only within the mainstream cis-heterosexual framework. Dostana (2008) and Kal Ho Na Ho (2003) still set the benchmark when it came to any alternate sexuality- something to be mocked, and othered. All while gay dating app Grindr has had a robust userbase in India. Such hypocrisy.
Which brings me to the point of today’s rant. Chirag Panjwani is a hilarious Indian stand up comic. He’s been at it since 2012, and his voice and material have evolved quite nicely. His comedy is quite open about his fuckboi days and his liberal worldview. Which makes his new video quite jarring. In it he describes an encounter with a swinger couple in his acerbic style. But his tone and choice of words are judgmental and reek of hypocrisy.
The situation and dynamics Chirag describes might’ve been true a decade ago, but not anymore. In fact, Feeld has a respectable user base in India.
Feeld is a location based online dating app like Tinder. Except, it’s for people interested in polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, swinging and other alternate relationship models and sexualities. Uniquely, Feeld lets users link their account with a partner’s, so couples can look for matches together. In their profile, users can choose between 20 sexuality and 19 gender options. How’s that for inclusive?
Feeld was founded in 2014 by Bulgarian designer Dimo Trifonov after his girlfriend (and now Feeld CEO) Ana Kirova told him that she had feelings for other people. Contrast that with the typical Indian male mindset:
Feeld’s name also has a story. Originally called 3nder, they were sued by the Match Group for having a name too similar to Tinder. Match Group, by the way, owns Tinder, Match, Meetic, OkCupid, Hinge, Pairs, PlentyOfFish and tried to acquire Bumble at one point. They’re the 800-pound gorilla of dating apps. Thus, 3nder became Feeld, as in “playing the field”.
We started this conversation with films, so I’d like to end with two recommendations:
Hindi language film Badhaai Do (2022) is a kind, empathetic and well-told story of people coming to terms with their sexual identity. Kaathal - The Core (2023) is a beautiful Malayalam film that’s nuanced, gentle and importantly, has film icon and superstar Mammooty playing a closeted gay man.
I highly recommend watching both. You owe it to your palate after that Akshay Kumar gif and Sunny Deol video I inflicted upon it.
Wonderful. Post and films that are mentioned. I still own the dvd of Mixed doubles.